Thursday, December 22, 2011

a marshmallow world. {dean martin.}

remember how i had my goal i was going to reach for new years?
the one where i was going to improve my healthiness?
well here is an update.

i started out awesome.
i lost like 3ish pounds.
then i maintained.
and maintained.
and maintained.
i started to get annoyed because i wasn't moving.
but then i remembered it was better then gaining so i got over it and continued to work hard.
nothing. then...

i started to gain.
and i gained that 3 pounds back.
and i think i gained 2 more.
i am not sure why or how.
all i know is i am frustrated.

frustrated that i have no will power.
even though i try each and every day.
frustrated that my brain won't listen to my body.
or is it my body won't listen to my brain.
either way its frustrating.
frustrated that i am not even strong enough to achieve my daily goals i set.

i honestly don't even know what to do anymore.
but i can't give up because that will be accepting defeat.
and i must continually fight this battle inside of me
hopefully i will be able to find what was ever inside of me a year ago.
that strength that made me the happy healthy brooke
she is screaming inside trying to fight her way out.

well i decided that once a week i am going to have a "weigh in" for myself.
i won't tell you how much i weigh or what not.
but about wether i have lost. gained. or maintained
it will probably also include a recap of the week.
hopefully this will be the final breaking of the straw.

blog highlight 22
ok speaking of being healthy.
one of my favorite workout/healthy blogs is peanut butter fingers.
julie is a healthaholic. 
seriously she is so fit and eats so well its amazing.
she always posts about her different workouts. 
her meals for the day {with a pictures}
and her life in general.
she just finished a half marathon under 2 hours.
one of my new year resolutions this next year is to be as fit as julie.
seriously her blog is so cute and so much fun plus healthy!

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