Sunday, November 20, 2011

the truth. {jason aldean.}

a glimpse on today:
i wasn't sure i would ever be ready for this post.
and to be completely honest i still am not sure i am ready.
this post contains a lot of personal information that being a girl i am scared to share.
but i need help. a lot of my hard work has gone to waste and it is time to work harder for it again.
so this is the true beginning of my 2nd journey of weight loss.

{for the record. this blog post is going to be a sequence of posts. my story is WAY too long to have as one post. also for the record if i have told you anything about my weight (what i weigh now or what i have weighed before...) it was a lie. yes i lied. i am human. i am sorry. but you are now going to get more then the truth, and probably more then you ever wanted to know. oh also don't judge me or get mad at me because we all have problems, and i am working on accepting mine.}

professional information:
{i am 5' 2". a healthy weight for that height is 105-130 lbs. if you are taller then me (even just one inch.) you should weigh more then me. so don't get any ideas from my numbers.
i like to stick to the low end of this range because of my small bone structure.}

story time {weight loss round 1}:
in high school and in my freshman 1st semester of college i was overweight.
i weighed myself everyday, as i still continue to do now.
i won't share that number with you because i am beyond embarrassed about it.
i mean honestly how could i let myself get that out of control?

well as a freshman in college i decided i was going to compete in miss southern utah.
i also decided i needed to start working out.
i started by just doing 30 min on the elliptical which quickly changed to 1 hour.
i started by just losing pounds here and there.
the pageant was about a month away and i decided i needed to lose more.
so i started to eat better. i counted my calories to stay on track.
after about 4ish months {from the time i started} i finally got to the point where i was losing 2 lbs a week.
for the pageant in the end of january i was 120 lbs.
my body kinda hit a stopping point at 118 lbs. only for about 2 weeks.
so i added 20 min on the stationary bike.
then it continued to descend.
i was then again losing 2 lbs a week.
i felt great. 

at the very beginning, my goal was to be at 110 lbs.
it was the highest end of my weight range and i didn't know if my body could handle lower.
and then i got there and i realized i still had a little "chub chub." around the abdomen area.
so i decided that wasn't low enough.
i decided 105 lbs was my new goal.
i was now working out for 1 hour 30 min. straight cardio. 
i reached 105 lbs and i felt fine. but i was curious....

inside details:
i never told anyone my true weight. 
{i just told ash about 2 months ago.}
i would always say about 5 pounds heavier then i really was at the time.
i didn't want people to freak out at me.
or to tell me that "it wasn't healthy for me."
i got annoyed when people would tell me i was "too skinny"
especially when they would question me about having an eating disorder.

1 comment:

Tristan and Kristin DiCristofano said...

Girl, I think you are beautiful and skinny just the way you are!!! But, I'm a girl as well and I have my own personal goals that I am working towards so I am with you, I understand and I will never judge. Love you!!