called to serve. {part 1.}

remember how i discussed that changes are going to be made???

well this weekend was the beginning of a lot of changes.

one change i am not quite ready to discuss right now.

it is going to be hard but a necessary and important change.

i am ok. and one day i hope i will be able to discuss my story with others.

the next change is my most scary but exciting change.

i have officially decided to put my life on hold.

put school on hold.

put family on hold.

its official. 

i am going on a mission.

now i know i have discussed this many time with people.

but now it is happening.

i am "done" with my papers!!

all i need to do is get my physical.

check up with the dentist.

meet with the bishop and stake president.

then wait. and wait. and wait.

for the most exciting package to come in the mail.

i am nervous and scared.

yet so excited and happy.

i know this is what i need to be doing with my life right now.

and it feels so good to finally have a life plan set up.

i can't wait to see what is in store for these next couple months.

life sure is crazy right now.

perfect. {pink.}

The girl who seemed unbreakable, broke.

The girl who seemed strong, crumbled.

The girl who always laughed, cried.

The girl who never stopped trying, finally gave up.

She dropped to the floor, and whispered silently to herself…

I can’t do this anymore...

no one is perfect.

a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

something  has been plaguing my life for the past year.

something that has taken its toll not only mentally but physically.

sometimes you aren't strong enough to fight yourself.

thats why we have families.

to help us get through our roughest times.

sometimes i fear change.

even good change.

but change is a continual thing.

never stopping.

but always necessary.

im tired.

tired of fighting.

tired of lying to myself.

tired of being weak.

tired of disappointing myself.

tired of not knowing who the girl in the mirror is.

yesterday was a hard day.

but because of loving parents i am ok.

trials are allowed to make us stronger.

although we might falter

the most important thing is never giving up.

brighter days are ahead.

nothing is better then winning a battle.

and this battle will be won.

in my life. {beatles.}

wow talk about deserting my blog.
here is a little update on this past week.
don't worry nothing too exciting happened.

school. school. and more school.

yes i did have 4 exams this past week.

favorite classes: pe 4040: exercise testing and prescription.

and nutrition 1240/1241: culinary arts/culinary arts lab.

smoothies. smoothies. and more smoothies.

i love my magic bullet therefore i eat a smoothie each day.

i went to the doctor.

he told me i have peroneal tendonitis.

i am now icing my ankle.

taking anti-inflammatory drugs.

oh and i am running slooooow.

i went to the physical therapist.
he told me my dorsiflexion is 8%.
it is suppose to be 16%.
so now i do stretches for my ankle each night.

by this friday if my ankle is not improved my dr is making me wear a boot.

luckily he told me i can still run with the boot off.

and in two weeks after that if it isn't better i will be getting a steroid shot.

lets pray for no boot or steroid shot.

i ran 11 miles.

yes that was a stupidly wonderful decision.

i have been wanting to do it for so long.

and i was going crazy because of my ankle.

i just ran. and ran. and ran.

but now because of it i might have to get the boot and the shot.

there is the just of my week.

let me tell you there is ALOT more that happened.

but they will maybe be posted about later.

they deserve their own post if they make it to the blog.

things are changing in my life.
good things are changing.
and i am so ready for these changes.