a marshmallow world. {dean martin.}

remember how i had my goal i was going to reach for new years?

the one where i was going to improve my healthiness?

well here is an update.

i started out awesome.

i lost like 3ish pounds.

then i maintained.

and maintained.

and maintained.

i started to get annoyed because i wasn't moving.

but then i remembered it was better then gaining so i got over it and continued to work hard.

nothing. then...

i started to gain.

and i gained that 3 pounds back.

and i think i gained 2 more.

i am not sure why or how.

all i know is i am frustrated.

frustrated that i have no will power.

even though i try each and every day.

frustrated that my brain won't listen to my body.

or is it my body won't listen to my brain.

either way its frustrating.

frustrated that i am not even strong enough to achieve my daily goals i set.

i honestly don't even know what to do anymore.

but i can't give up because that will be accepting defeat.

and i must continually fight this battle inside of me

hopefully i will be able to find what was ever inside of me a year ago.

that strength that made me the happy healthy brooke

she is screaming inside trying to fight her way out.

well i decided that once a week i am going to have a "weigh in" for myself.

i won't tell you how much i weigh or what not.

but about wether i have lost. gained. or maintained

it will probably also include a recap of the week.

hopefully this will be the final breaking of the straw.

blog highlight 22

ok speaking of being healthy.

one of my favorite workout/healthy blogs is peanut butter fingers.

julie is a healthaholic. 

seriously she is so fit and eats so well its amazing.

she always posts about her different workouts. 

her meals for the day {with a pictures}

and her life in general.

she just finished a half marathon under 2 hours.

one of my new year resolutions this next year is to be as fit as julie.

seriously her blog is so cute and so much fun plus healthy!